When the first crossroads appeared, I wrestled just like anybody else.  Prayed hard.  Thought for days.  Ached.  I finally made my choice to go, to walk away, to let go.

Oh I didn't want to.  Everybody told me to stay.  I needed, wanted everybody to still be there, part of my world, cause I knew that once I went, it would never quite be the same again.  But I did the right thing despite what everybody said, despite what I wanted, I did it cause I thought it was best.

Now whenever something happens...I question that choice.  During the long, hard hours, my first wish is to run back.  It wasn't easier there, but at least it felt safer...my comfort zone.  Watching the negative take hold of the people I love best, I wonder if I made the wrong choice.

Idk what's going to happen.  Idk why I had to walk away and I guess leave everyone and everything to fend for themselves.  Idk why I feel like I'm in a place where everything I do is totally useless and has little value.  The days are long, but you know what...I know I'm in the right place.  Technically, I'm doing nothing but this is where I'm suppose to be even if it just gives me the chance to breathe (you know how short I am of time to breathe!) and bond w/ God.

So I'll slog out the next 8 months as long as I'm in the right place w/ You.